Grass Ain't Greener...

The other day I saw a meme that had the term "F$&@ Boy" and photo of a guy that looked like he was a mothers worst nightmare. Under the picture the person detailed all of the qualities in the type of male that qualified to be this derogatory term. Girls were commenting on the post talking about their experiences with these type of  guys. I was laughing because ladies, sometimes we literally allow the worst things to happen to us because of "love". We let men get away with bad behaviors because we want to be loved so bad or the situation is comfortable. The wrong guy will never love you the right way so why keep going back for a watered down, less than satisfactory type of love ? When a man shows you who he is believe him. That's such a bad habit to lower your standards in order to prevent loneliness or whatever else you may be feeling.

Before I dive in let me give ..Kudos to the men who are nothing like the meme. I even have some wonderful guy friends in my life who I know aren't this type of guy deep down inside. They have good hearts, are dependable and have great goals they're accomplishing.Yet, even they admit although they aren't bad guys, they've had thier moments of being terrible boyfriends and lovers. They blame it on poor examples in thier life , media, thier youth or immaturity. They informed me only God and growth changed them. The thing that stuck with me from these convos was that they knew they were wrong but kept treating women poorly because the women allowed them too. The grass ain't greener on the other side of patience ladies. Stepping over to the side of impatience, where love is rushed and based on emotion is pointless. You'll be left empty and unsatisfied. Men rise to the standard you set.

I thought to myself no man is perfect but how many times have I settled or allowed someone to treat me less than I deserve? I normally pride myself in being treated with high regards and spoiled too but not to the level that I obviously desired if I am still single. If I'm single my past relationship obviously have been subpar if they weren't worth staying in. So I thought about my last few dating experiences. Especially after all my "exes" hit me up in the same weekend seeing if they could reel me back in I suppose . It was so weird, the timing of it all but I legit asked myself could I go back to any of them ? .... NO. Logically I couldn't let myself go back knowing I needed more and deserved better, a better relationship at this point in thier lives they were incapable of giving. They were guys with good hearts , ok intentions but terrible effort. I'm not looking for lackluster lazy attempts. I was suddenly sad because men don't realize a good thing until it's gone but immediately after I sulked, my next emotion was happiness! I was happy I was no longer bondage to mediocre relationships. I was happy I was single and focused on my goals. I was relieved that I felt like I was obeying God by staying single until I felt him leading me to let the man whose just right for me, court me to marriage.

I share this to say. One,there's joy in singleness, God says it's a gift. Two, again, the grass ain't greener on the other side. Wait for pure unadulterated love.

It was not easy getting to this point. I had to slap myself back into reality and say girl, " your smart , beautiful, ....etc." Why would you settle or take less what you deserve. I looked around me and saw all of the unsatisfied women in the world who are stuck in relationships that weigh them down and don't thrive them. I promised myself that wouldn't be me.

I had to love myself more. I encourage you to do the same. I had  to honor God with my body by loving it enough to not give it fully to a man that's not my husband. I had to find patience the right man would come in a world that wants everything popcorn speed. I had to connect to the vine, talk to Jesus about my future and understand marriage is a gift from him that glorifies his kingdom. How dare I matchmake myself to someone he has for someone else. Isn't that like  practicing adultery?


Ladies get rid of the "Fboys" wait for the man after Gods heart that's for you.

One love and May his peace be with you !