Why I Can't Love You
My best guy friend called me the other day and said, "Gab you date like a guy." I burst out laughing. He continued by saying, "you've always hung with guys, observing our antics, our conversations, and you've learned too much. Now you know how to outsmart most of us and play back the game we play."
Now I won't confirm or deny his statements here in this blog hahaha but I will say I did go through years of observation. I can almost read a guy's whole dating style by his first looks and his first line. I've mastered the art of playing coy when I know the truth and letting him think he's got the upper hand when really I'm holding the reigns. (Mom taught me that one I think haha) Yet, these are not the rules I'm planning to live by. These are protective measures to guard my heart. I'd like my husband to unpack as little baggage as possible from my life (I hope he's considering the same for me). Therefore, I don't get too close too soon to multiple guys, so that if I need to leave, I can walk away without heavy attachment.
I want you ladies and gents to work on SELF CONTROL. You don't have to bear your heart to everyone. One day there will be someone who you can be vulnerable with, but that's not every Tom and Harry you meet. You don't have to follow dating guides and rules, just follow God's law of love. Treat others how you want to be treated. I've heard from my parents, who've been married over 25 years that each relationship is its own journey. Ask for godly wisdom when necessary, listen to the holy spirit, but most of all... have peace about whatever situation you're in. Not peace that it's perfect, but peace that God's in the forefront and your selfish desires or lusts are in the background.
So I keep that in mind and try to build solid friendships and other connections with a person, rather than physical or superficial connections. As I get older I'm learning not to settle, but to look for deeper things to fall in love with in a person. Not the things "your girls" talk about. His abs, wallet, or type of car he drives won't make the relationship last. For me, If my man isn't saved or doesn't put God first (even over me), then I can't love him. I refuse to fall in love or give my body to anyone I can't trust to guard my purity, respect my values, and encourage me spiritually. Everything else can follow...but my soul is anchored in the Lord, my soulmates should be too!
The hardest part while dating is that it seems our emotions sometimes are louder than the spirits voice. So we've got to try harder to listen to whatever is clouding us from keeping us from loving the wrong person. I've noticed in my life that although I feel as if I have so many answers, I really know nothing at all. I'm not saying don't take the advice on my blog (haha), I'm saying while we are young, we really don't know a whole lot. It is important to seek godly council, seek God, and trust the Lord with all of our heart. Don't focus on your heart, it's wishy-washy and changes it's mind a lot haha. Go to the source. The creator of love, relationships, and the people we date, for what you need is his word. The bible has ALL the answers.