"Because you don't open your legs, no man will stay. You are crazy."
"She's bad, but until she opens up shop... I am straight."
"If you find a man that says he will wait for you, I guarantee he's getting it from somewhere else."
"You dont know what you are missing."
These are the comments I have heard over the years, in the past months, shoot... even a couple days ago concerning my choice to save sex for marriage. I will assume because I am attractive, it is baffling to men my decision to wait. That and the fact that they don't find many girls willing to wait.
I have to be honest, I have dated guys who did pressure me to change my mind. I can see how many young ladies fall into the trap, that sleeping with their guy will keep him around. That temptation is real. Yet, we all know this is not true. Most guys know before the first day how far and how long they want you around. Based on the vibes, persona, and aura you give, they know if you will be pursued as the temporary chick of the week, long-term boo, the good girl they try to pocket for marriage, or just someone they'd simply like to sleep with.
These are things I have seen some of my guy friends do or speak about other guys doing. Most college aged men up to men in their early 30’s (some past 30 too) see the world and women as a grand horizon they must conquer. They want to experience it all. This can cause them to seem very indecisive and unsure in relationships, even if they may want to do the right thing.
I have taken it upon myself to assist men I date in making decisions concerning me by not clouding our relationship with sexual intimacy. YOU KNOW intimacy changes things. The bible says :
· That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. ( Genesis 2:24)
· Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9)
· Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. (1 Corinthians 6:16)
When you become “one flesh”, you unite yourself with someone. I don’t want unity with multiple men who after I broke up with them can't get over because we've bonded on such a deep level.
ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS.. I desire to wait not only to protect myself from a high body count, diseases, and unwanted pregnancy, but I WANT TO STICK TO MY GUNS. If I say I am going to do something I am going to do it. I DON'T LIKE PEER PRESSURE. I will not change my decision based on another person's opinion on what I should be doing with my body, the one I dedicated to God. All in all I am content in my choice and I want to inspire other women to do what they know is best. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOSE SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DON'T RESPECT OR LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO WAIT. Don't do something you don't want to do because you think everyone else is doing it. *side-eye* Keep your values and morals.
BE A TREASURE.
Treasures are rare and hard to find. Don't be a fast food girl. They are the quick and easy fix that is easily accesible and not hard to attain. No one looks at fast food as a delicacy or something of great value..right. lol Be worth the wait. If God is leading you to wait, trust the right man to come to you at the right time. Again, I can't tell you how many marriage proposals (ones w/o rings) I have recieved over the years. The girl guys want to take home have not been around the block and back. I would rather have that kind of positive attention and be single for just a little bit longer than to be "everybody's girl".
Once, I was sitting with a good guy friend telling him about a breakup I had with a guy over the fact that we were not intimate. He said, "Gab, if I was with you I woudn't mind waiting." He said, "Many guys won't say it out loud but I respect your decision and don't ever change." He didn't know those words were exactly what I needed to hear. So.. I leave those words with you. If you are waiting .."I respect your decision.. don't ever change."
Peace and Love,