What Women (Really, Me) Want

Today, someone asked me what I wanted in a man. Now, l have thought about this before you know... once upon a time, but not recently. I have grown a lot since the last time I thought about the answer to that question and have decided to share my thoughts with you. Mainly because I feel as though many of you will agree with my list. We know women are not fundamentally the same, but there are common themes, emotions, reactions to events, and stages in a woman's life  that we can almost ALL identify with. My list contains the most important things I look at when dating a man. The order might be prioritized differently for every lady reading, based on her upbringing and experiences, but I think it sums up what most women want. With that out of the way, let us begin!

As a 23 year old living in the year 2014 I would like a man who is :

1. Willing to Grow- For me, this means you truly care about your relationship with God and you are a constant seeker of his truth.  For others this could mean growing in maturity, growing in educational achievement or growing in the ways he shows love.  I look for growth spiritually because I want him to feel importance in reading his word.  This way I can rest assured that he will lead our relationship in the right direction. And if we are to get married, lead our household and cover our children. If he is in his word and willing to constantly grow, he will understand real love is 1st Corinthians 13. This scripture tells us real love is expressed by being patient, kind ,not self –seeking, proud, or rude, and keeps no record of wrong-doing! This love is a fruit of a man filled with the spirit and pretty much sums up all I want from the man I date/marry. 

2.  Can I Wake Up to You-  I would like a man who is attractive. He doesn’t have to be super fit or a magazine model type of guy, but just someone I enjoy looking at. Honestly, beyond physical features, a man who is intelligent, sweet, and thoughtful is extremely attractive to me and I’m sure with those qualities, after marriage I would be very happy to wake up to a man like that every morning.

3.Protect/ Provide- Women in the last 100 years, have taken great strides in forcing society to look at us as equals with men and not a subjugated lesser version of a male.  I agree with the feminist movement that demands equal pay for women, harsher punishment for assault on women, and that pushes to eliminate ‘rape culture’, which hyper-sexualizes women and the female body. Now although I agree with the former statements, I also appreciate and respect gender roles in a relationship. As long as women are not told their place and forced into a role by society, I quite frankly love it. I appreciate a hard working man who has a desire to provide and protect his family. After I have achieved some accomplishment for myself and then one day birthed my husband’s children, I do not mind staying and tending  to our home while he brings home the bacon. As long as I always have the ability to CHOOSE whether I want to be a “stay at home mom” or a “working mom”.  

4. Lastly, He Must Be Thoughtful- This is huge to me because in one of my most hurtful previous relationships, I felt like I was not really a priority. A man who really cares about you wants to secure your time because that is most valuable. If you’re not a priority, in my mind, he does not appreciate or understand your true value. That is why I really appreciate a man who is thoughtful. He notices small changes and remembers things you told him because he just cares that much about you! It reminds me of the scripture that says "husbands love your wives like Christ loves the church". According  to scripture, Christ knows the littlest details, such as how many hairs are on your head, and even knows the exact number of tears we’ve shed. That is true thoughtfulness. I’m not asking for my man to know the exact number of hairs on my head (haha) YOU'RE NOT GOD, but I do want you to at least know my favorite color is EVERY SHADE OF PINK. You can at least buy me flowers because you know that I freaking adore them, or know that I love simple things like sparkly notebooks, scented candles, and chocolate chip cookies.

Men... if you’ve made it this far in the post.. we’re not that complicated. Just be willing to work with us. What is a world without the relationships between men and women? Let’s all attempt to better understand one another, be patient, and ultimately share Christs love, whether you end up marrying that person or not. When you start dating someone think about this; will that person grow in God with me or have to run to him for healing after we break up? Take responsibility for how you treat your partner, pay attention to how you're being treated, and if the other person doesn’t want to change... MOVE ON.. ANYWAY, I GAB..